Start here
You're probably here because something just changed.
Maybe a phone call. Maybe a fall, a hospital admission, or a quiet moment where you realised your aunt, uncle, or parent isn't managing as well as they used to — and somehow you're the one who's ended up coordinating things, even from a distance.
That's a strange, often lonely position to be in. You're not the person who sees them every day. You might not even live nearby. But you're the one making calls, asking questions, and trying to figure out what happens next — and nobody handed you a manual.
A Relative Matter is that manual. Plain-English, Ireland-specific, no jargon. Use the sections below to find where to start.
Something just happened
You're dealing with a hospital stay, a discharge date, or an urgent situation right now.
- Hospital discharge checklist — what to sort before they come home, and in the first 48 hours after.
- Who do I call? — a decision tree for figuring out the right number, fast.
- Emergency contacts — a printable card of the numbers you'll need, ready before you need them.
- HSE Home Support Service — what it covers, how it's assessed, and how to apply before or after a hospital stay.
I'm not sure if it's time to step in
Nothing's happened yet — you just have a growing feeling that things are changing.
- Signs it's time to step in — practical signals worth paying attention to, without jumping to conclusions.
- Wellbeing and burnout for the secondary carer — signs worth noticing in yourself, not just your relative.
I need to find help
You know you need support — you just don't know what's out there or who provides it.
- Support services directory — home help, respite, and carer supports across Ireland.
- Equipment & funding directory — what's available, where to get it, and how it's funded.
- Where to get help — a wider map of who does what, from HSE to voluntary organisations.
- Fair Deal (Nursing Homes Support Scheme) — whether it applies, what it costs, and how to apply.
- Carer's Allowance vs Carer's Benefit — two different payments with a similar name, and which one fits your situation.
- Medical Card vs GP Visit Card — whether a relative is likely to qualify, and for which one.
- Getting siblings to help — practical ways to ask family members to share the load.
You're not doing this wrong
Most people coordinating care from a step removed feel guilty about not doing more, and overwhelmed by how much there is to figure out. Neither feeling means you're getting it wrong. Start with whichever section above matches where you are today — you don't need to read everything at once.